Some philosophical shit

I try to finish a puzzle. This puzzle is made of triangles. But My pieces are squares. It is mathematical and geometrical impossible to finish this puzzle. Except, I sacrifice a Piece of my square and cut a Corner.

And you know what? I cut those Corner. But still I don’t fit in. And I know that I never will. Is it wrong to tell someone, how much you miss a Person? We see on social media and everywhere that millions of People wish that someone is telling them “I miss you” – “I Love You” – “You are my Everything” And if Someone does this finally, then how it Comes that they call this Person as clinchy or weak or take them for granted?Why it is wrong to talk about Feelings openly? Why ? In Turkey we say “the one who runs, get haunted”

I never run. I never give a Person the Feeling I am something better. I always admitted my Feelings. always told my love, worked hard for my relationship and sacrificed without thinking that a man should run after a Girl. Being accepted is so rare. I never wanted give a human the Feeling that someone has to chase for me, because I am not something better than him. quite the contrary I feel honored that this Person wants to share something with me. That this Person sees something worthy in my poor existence. I can’t force someone to love me. I can’t force anyone to miss me, to call me, to write me, or to make me to his priority in his life.

I know I am somewhere there in his heart. But I can’t Claim a bigger part than the small room, which is given to me. And you know, IT HURTS DAMN…


Dear Reader,

he once said to me “You are hard to manage but still I bear you” I don’t know if someone ever said such disrespectful Thing to me. Even now while writing those lines I feel ashamed that all of you will read this.

I am really that unbearable? Maybe… but at least I am worth it because in the end I give unconditional love and respect.

When you are in relationship with someone, then isn’t it my right to expect some icky stuff…

Is it cheesy when you say ‘ I love you’?…

obviously it is nowadays.

Am I childish for expecting romance? A husband can tell his wife his love or a lover to his beloved one… there is nothing wrong!

no…

it is immature to think that sharing love and telling honestly someone his Feelings is cheesy and not realistic.

What will safe us in this destroyed world, when not love? 

#hati
 

My random thoughts II

1. Where do I belong in his life?

2. Is he missing me like I miss him?

3. Shall I wait or give up the fight?

4. How to overplay feelings?

5. How to pretend like I don’t care? 

I don’t know… 

6. I feel happy in my body but society expects me to feel uncomfortable for being fat.

7. Why is India so strict in foreign policy?

8. I ve got my Visa but couldn’t share my happiness with anyone.

9. Why we only share special things to special persons? It would be so much easier being extrovert.

10. Why I feel so dizzy and why the hell my body isn’t working with me! Jeez

11. My Iphone caused me only troubles. In times of Nokia 3310 I was happier. 

12. being not blocked by an old friend is bliss… 

13. When nisam said to me this morning “anne I am your everything and you are my everything, we hve to share our foods” 

I cried and laughed both at same time..my innocent girl..❤️


#hati

Garip

Şu gariban gülmedi bir gün

Dayandı dertler yine kapıma

Açtım ellerimi semaya

Rabbim al bu sevdalığı benden

Ağladım geceden sabaha….

This poor hearted human didn’t laugh one day,

There, there are my problems again knocking on my door.

To heaven I opened my hands

“Ya Rab take this love away from me-there is no chance” 

I ve cried from night till sun rise, lost in  trance…

#hati

Distance 

Kalbi kalbimeGönlü gönlüme

Ellerim ellerinde

Ben sende

Ama sen nerde? 

Olmadı, Oldurmadın

Yazık ettin bize…


His heart is on mine

His love is on mine

His hands are on mine

I am on you

But where are you?

It didn’t work- you didn’t let it work

You devastated us and build a brickwork.

#hati

Dert

Bir derdim var anlatamıyorum

Bir derdim var kalbimden atamıyorum 

Bir derdim var satamıyorum

Bir derdim var kafama sıkıp kurtulsam diyorum… 


I have a problem which I can’t tell

I have a problem which I can’t throw away

I have a problem which I can’t sell

I have a problem, set me free by shooting in to my head. Bang

#hati

Hello, it’s me

Sometimes you want to call your friend. And just want to talk like a waterfall about the things in your head, about everything in your heart… what busies you since ages…

Because you know, this special person is everything you have.
You grap the phone,  you dial the number. 

But everything you manage is to swallow the big lump which would cause you to cry. 

Because You feel…you are

Unnecessary.

Unimportant.

Bagage.

A person who is beared patiently. 

No, your friend didn’t cause those thoughts. It was your demons fault, which are domicile in your head. 
So you keep silent. Maybe forever.

#hati

Human

My unconditional love for a land and for its soldiers made me write this poem… enjoy reading:


I’ll steal two minutes of your precious moment;

Read the story about the truth,

Maybe you ungrateful badasses will change your view!


We are the men

The ones who saw agony

we will tell our story, this is what we live for and die in glory!



In the nights when you lie down in your cuddly bed, in your beautiful night clothes, 

Some of the so called “men” wear their culottes, 

But we wait in front, scared to death: no, we don’t fear to lose life nor money,

We pray Almighty for mercy.

It is the precious life of a comarad 

Who has to face the ugly blade, the enemies blade…

In this never ending war – which is our arcade! 



Don’t cry my proud mother!

I am here for the country given us from father! 

Ready to sacrifice 

Even without thinking twice

Everything what I have

For YOU and my MOTHERLAND…



No cold- no hot.

Only one weather

There is our holy GOD!

In  prayers,

When we stay ready to die, to defend our boarders!



We are hindu, muslim, christ and more

There is nothing what can separate us

We are one, we are a body

Our love for Bharat is the real glory. 



You will never have an idea

How it is being me,

In this war- where is no time for plea…



In earth our families will get the Medaillon of HONOR cause we proofed generosity.

In this world which lost his soul and humanity.

#hati

My life


Mybe I was powerless as Kid,

But now,

I am a self-confident woman.

So darling this means: 

I won’t allow you to enter my world! You will stay outside, you will go to hell; the only place you deserve.

——————————————————

Dear reader, 

If someone caused you an unbearable pain in your life and like my example a trauma in your childhood, then shot the fucker down! 

He doesn’t have any rights to see you, hearing your words and thoughts or contact you on whatsapp or any social media. BLOCK HIM!

Be strong and set your own rules of happiness! Because you aren’t that helpless kid anymore. 

#hati